I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDMy wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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