Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD