Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDOn Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD