We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD