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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Always Found Kid Move Parent

Bagwalas

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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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