I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD






