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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Born I Morning Mother Sickness

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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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