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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Born I Morning Mother Sickness

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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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Always Found Kid Move Parent
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
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Bartender Beat God Make Me Ugly Yeah Zombie
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up

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