black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Age Food Kitchen Life Mirror Over Tab Taken
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Around Came Carry Father Picture Wallet
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Dog Drink Glass Kiss Lip Married Stay Tough Wife
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bartender Beat God Make Me Ugly Yeah Zombie
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Already Always Eye Garbage Keep Me Rid She Told Try Wife
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Get Honest No Politician Respect Run
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Interrupt Spoken Wife Year
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

All Life Pick Pocket Sex
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife

Copyright: 2020 - 2023 | Minimalist Quotes