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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Interrupt Spoken Wife Year

Bagwalas

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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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Get Honest No Politician Respect Run
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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Halloween Kind Life Look Parent Sent
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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Already Always Eye Garbage Keep Me Rid She Told Try Wife
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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Honest Luck Politician Run Way
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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Brown Dentist Go Teeth Tie Told Wear Yellow
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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Another Come Day Girl Home Nobody Over Phone
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife

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