My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
-
-
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD