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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

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Before Clean Grow House Kid Shovel Snow Stop Up

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All mothers are working mothers.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don’t want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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