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I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’

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Feature Made never That What

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Glove Love Old Sport Through
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
PHYLLIS DILLER

Hate Mingle Moher Once Orphanage Told Took
You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Aligator Barefoot Compliment Know Shoe Someone
When you play spin the bottle, if they don’t want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bottle Kiss Play Quater Spin Want
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beneath Breast Knee Law Left Mother Out Pain Trick Tuned
When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beach Come Even Go Tide
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Comedy Revisited Tragedy
If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Jealous Mercy Pilead Talk
You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beautiful Bribe Comedy Everything Goes Got Realize Somebody Step Train
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Christmas Everybody Forgotten Past Present Remember Time Want
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Ask Country Once Out People Player Room
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bd Commemorate Cook Country Kid Person Thanksgiving Through
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bachelor Guy Made Mistake Once Some
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Beaty Eyesight Fade Like Look Marry May Own

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