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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

Related Topics

Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson

Bagwalas

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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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Common Day Husband Married Only Same Thing
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.
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I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
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You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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