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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

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Away Children Home Keep Only Parent Some Thing Threaten

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Hat On Screw Wrinkle
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
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Chance Housework Kill Rake You
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Any Argument Bank Been Cab Country Just Robbed Three Time
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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All Life Own Real Thing
self-pity is better than none.
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Better Ity None Self
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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Before Clean Grow House Kid Shovel Snow Stop Up
When you play spin the bottle, if they don’t want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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Bottle Kiss Play Quater Spin Want
The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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Constant Difference Other Same Song Technology Thought Wine Year
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Accidental Day Enjoy Ever Gin Iron Only Steam Time
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Best Eat Getmrid Kitchen Odor Out Way
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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Cheap Christmas Committed Eve Fre Husband Kids Santa Shot Suicide Tell
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
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Best Contraceptive Nudity People
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
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Bachelor Guy Made Mistake Once Some
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Finish Half Hour Last Minute
My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.
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Just Justice Like Look Photograph

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