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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

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Away Children Home Keep Only Parent Some Thing Threaten

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

self-pity is better than none.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Better Ity None Self
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
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Best Contraceptive Nudity People
Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
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Cook Food Lose May never Serve Taste
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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Age Back Do Go More Than
I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.
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Central Crime Night Only Park Reduce Trade Walk Woman
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Bed Course Fang Gone Mad Month Three True Was Year
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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Bd Commemorate Cook Country Kid Person Thanksgiving Through
Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bedroom Dead Nickname Nothing Happen Sea Waterbed
If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Age Beaty Eyesight Fade Like Look Marry May Own
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
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Chance Housework Kill Rake You
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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Beaten Before Him Husband Lick Mixer Want
Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Aim Fool High Off Shoot
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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Christmas Everybody Forgotten Past Present Remember Time Want
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Avoid Beget Children Desire Entirely Mean Poverty Single Something Violence

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