All mothers are working mothers.
PHYLLIS DILLERHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
More Phyllis Diller Quotes
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
PHYLLIS DILLER