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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

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Finish Half Hour Last Minute

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Along Always Easy Only Same Tell Understand
We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Down First Month Shut Spend Talk Teah Tell Twelve Walk
Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Appendix Back Divorce Husband Like Put Remarry
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
PHYLLIS DILLER

All Life Own Real Thing
Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Divorce Father Get Now Outside Remember
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Comedy Revisited Tragedy
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Blouse Once Peekaboo People Peek Too Wore
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Before Clean Grow House Kid Shovel Snow Stop Up
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Beaty Eyesight Fade Like Look Marry May Own
… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Dust Furniture Love Name Write Yera
I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Buddhism Depth Feng Numerous Straight Technology Transcendental Work
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bad Earn Ever Kid Last Lose Money Old Teeth Thing
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Finish Half Hour Last Minute
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
PHYLLIS DILLER

Chance Housework Kill Rake You

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