The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
PHYLLIS DILLERI have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.
More Phyllis Diller Quotes
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
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self-pity is better than none.
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If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
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Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
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They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
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I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
PHYLLIS DILLER