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Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.
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Before you get married you should meet your fiance’s parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.
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I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
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A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
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Anybody Behind Doing Eighteen Iron Know Now Use Year
I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!
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The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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