I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
PHYLLIS DILLERI am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
More Phyllis Diller Quotes
-
-
There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
self-pity is better than none.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
Do not taste food while you’re cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
PHYLLIS DILLER -
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.
PHYLLIS DILLER -
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
PHYLLIS DILLER