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I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

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Descend Foolish Listen Long Mother Very

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Love Man Marry Money Nothing Tennis
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Aim Fool High Off Shoot
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
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Chance Housework Kill Rake You
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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Afford All Children Move Them Thing Want
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Accidental Day Enjoy Ever Gin Iron Only Steam Time
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
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Ask Country Once Out People Player Room
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
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Body Doctor Hope Look Reincarnation Said Yes
I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.
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