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My body’s in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.

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Bad Body Phase Prescription Shape Such Underwater Wear

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Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
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The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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