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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

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Bachelor Guy Made Mistake Once Some

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Comedy is tragedy revisited.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Comedy Revisited Tragedy
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Accused Constant Country Drought Fire Food Mud Swanson
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Beauty Day Fourteen Give never Plan Ten Up Year
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, ‘Take off your clothes’?
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Cloth Doctor Go Look Love Man Say Take
You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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Humble Keep Know Mirror
Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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Always Before Down Drink Fall Friend Health
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
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Bad Earn Ever Kid Last Lose Money Old Teeth Thing
I was the world’s ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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Baby Born Doctor Everybody Slap Ugly World
A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
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Exactly Friend Laugh Look Man Passport Photo Picture Realize
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bachelor Guy Made Mistake Once Some
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Down Head Kwwp Laugh Pro Real Reson See Tell
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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Dog Every Go Howl Near Stove Time
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
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Bd Commemorate Cook Country Kid Person Thanksgiving Through
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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Cheap Christmas Committed Eve Fre Husband Kids Santa Shot Suicide Tell
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
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Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women
Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
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Appendix Back Divorce Husband Like Put Remarry

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