Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALDBack in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
-
-
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD -
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD -
During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
NORM MACDONALD -
In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
NORM MACDONALD -
Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
NORM MACDONALD -
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD -
They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
NORM MACDONALD -
All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
NORM MACDONALD -
Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD -
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALD -
Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD -
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD -
Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
NORM MACDONALD -
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
NORM MACDONALD -
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
NORM MACDONALD