Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALDBack in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALD