Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALDThough we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD