The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
NORM MACDONALDThough we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
NORM MACDONALD