You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
NORM MACDONALDThough we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
-
-
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD -
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD -
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD -
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD -
Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD -
As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
NORM MACDONALD -
Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
NORM MACDONALD -
Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALD -
Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD -
When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD -
You can’t love your team without hating another team.
NORM MACDONALD -
In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD -
There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
NORM MACDONALD -
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD -
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD