All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
NORM MACDONALDImprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
NORM MACDONALD






