I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
MARK TWAINThe human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
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You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN