A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAINThe human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
MARK TWAIN