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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

Mark Twain

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAIN

Acknowledgement Authority Commit Fault Guard Opportunity Throw
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAIN

Education God Humour Idiot Practice School
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
MARK TWAIN

Beginning Change Hate Man Patriotism Success
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
MARK TWAIN

Ambition Dreamss Greatness Hurt People Try
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAIN

Bank Banker Fellow Lend Rain Shine Sun Sunshine Umbrella
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN

Information Media Newspaper
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN

Dog Favor Heaven Merit Stay
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN

Brave Courage Dog Flight Inspirational
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
MARK TWAIN

Education Knowledge Learning
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
MARK TWAIN

Depend Eyes Focus Imagination Life One Liner
I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Letter Time Writing
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Man Savage World
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN

Country Deserve Government Help Patriotism Support
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN

Advice Angry One Liner Patience Swear
I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
MARK TWAIN

Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Trouble Worry
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
MARK TWAIN

Finding Hate Humour People Travel

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

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Popular Authors

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