Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX