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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

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Funny Leadership Man Women

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX

Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX

Drunk Febuary Morning
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX

Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX

Interesting Reality Sense Theory
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX

Humour Judge Jury Marriage One Liner
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrow Banana Fly Fruit Time
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hotel Humour Room Service
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hero Heroine Tits
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX

Army Contradiction Intelligence Military One Liner
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX

Anatomy Judgement Poverty
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX

Equality Freedom Prejudices
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX

Freedom Money Thinking
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX

Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman

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