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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

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Funny Leadership Man Women

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX

Human Nature Humour Important One Liner Speak
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX

Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Genius One Liner Young
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX

Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX

Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX

Event Eyes Happiness Inspirational Morning Myself Power Present Unhappiness
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX

Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX

Closer Holding Love One Liner Romance
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX

Love Man Romance Room
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX

Footprint Photography Socks Upstairs
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand

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