All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARXOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX