I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX