Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARXAge is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX






