Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is just mind control.
More George Carlin Quotes
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN