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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.

Bob Hope

Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE

Concentrate Grandchildren One Thing Tim
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE

Singing Sweet Trying
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Hope Look People Ruin
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War

A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.

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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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