Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPEAnd on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
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Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
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I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE