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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.

Bob Hope

The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.

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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.

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Popular Authors

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