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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.

Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE

Get Golf Names Vain
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.

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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes