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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

Bob Hope

I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE

Dies Golf Pain Swings
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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