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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

Bob Hope

I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE

Age Calculate Fingers Rings
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying

He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

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Popular Authors

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