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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

Bob Hope

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE

Eighteen Engaged Finished Foursome
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking

He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England

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Popular Authors

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