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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

Bob Hope

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
BOB HOPE

Arrive Giving Ideas Still Two
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE

Golf Painting President
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE

Concentrate Grandchildren One Thing Tim
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE

Age Calculate Fingers Rings
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

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