black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Bob Hope

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
BOB HOPE

Bombers Bombs Hell
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes