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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

Bob Hope

We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE

Music Names Personality Play
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

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