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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Bob Hope

Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Hope Look People Ruin
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

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Popular Authors

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