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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Bob Hope

And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Play Small Winning
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE

Eighteen Engaged Finished Foursome
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

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Popular Authors

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