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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

Bob Hope

A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
BOB HOPE

America Funny Humorous
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole

I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

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