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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.

Bob Hope

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks

Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.

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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.

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Popular Authors

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