The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
BILL MAHERI have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER