You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHERI have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER