“Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.”

At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.

One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The “Power of One” is a slogan – not a goal.

Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?

Death is nature’s way of killing you.

In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.

Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.

You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’