Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
BILL MAHERIs it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER