Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
BILL MAHERThe Drug War is an addiction, really.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
BILL MAHER