“If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.”

I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.

God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”

I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.

Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.

In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.

Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.

There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.

The Drug War is an addiction, really.

In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.

False hope really makes you cynical.

It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.