In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHERDeath is nature’s way of killing you.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHER