Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
BILL MAHERBased on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
BILL MAHER