Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
BILL MAHER
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
More Bill Maher Quotes
-
-
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER -
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
BILL MAHER -
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
BILL MAHER -
Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHER -
Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
BILL MAHER -
Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
BILL MAHER -
In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
BILL MAHER -
I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
BILL MAHER -
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER -
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
BILL MAHER -
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER -
The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER -
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER -
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER -
