I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHERFalse hope really makes you cynical.
More Bill Maher Quotes
-
-
The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER -
Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
BILL MAHER -
The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
BILL MAHER -
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
BILL MAHER -
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER -
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
BILL MAHER -
In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHER -
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
BILL MAHER -
If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHER -
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER -
I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
BILL MAHER -
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER -
The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
BILL MAHER -
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER -
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER -
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER -
Religion is insanity by consensus.
BILL MAHER -
Men are only as loyal as their options.
BILL MAHER -
Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
BILL MAHER -
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHER -
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER -
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
BILL MAHER -
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHER -
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
BILL MAHER -
A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
BILL MAHER -
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER