In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHERFalse hope really makes you cynical.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHER