If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHERI don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER