Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
BILL MAHER
Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
BILL MAHER -
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
BILL MAHER -
Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
BILL MAHER -
That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
BILL MAHER -
At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER -
I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
BILL MAHER -
Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHER -
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
BILL MAHER -
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHER -
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER -
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER -
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER -
The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
BILL MAHER -
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHER -
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER