In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth… see you at the final.
BILL HICKSI’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
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I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
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I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
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I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
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In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
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Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
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I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
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When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
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People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
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If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
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I’ve had good times on drugs…bad times on drugs…But I’ve had good and bad relationships…and I’m not giving up pussy.
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I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
BILL HICKS